Humor

U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

"Millions of U.S. flag–related injuries and fatalities have been reported over a 230-year period in locations as far flung as Europe, Cuba, Korea, Gettysburg, PA, the Philippines, and Iraq. In addition, the company found that U.S. flag exports to Vietnam during the late 1960s and early 1970s resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths, a clear sign that there was something seriously wrong with its product. Despite fears about the flag's safety—especially when improperly used or manipulated in ways not originally intended—sales continued unabated over the years, potentially putting billions of unsuspecting people in danger." Continue reading →

Continue ReadingU.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

U.S. Seemingly Unaware Of Irony In Accusing Snowden Of Spying

"At a press conference to discuss the accusations, an N.S.A. spokesman surprised observers by announcing the spying charges against Mr. Snowden with a totally straight face. 'These charges send a clear message,' the spokesman said. 'In the United States, you can’t spy on people.' Seemingly not kidding, the spokesman went on: 'The American people have the right to assume that their private documents will remain private and won’t be collected by someone in the government for his own purposes.' 'Only by bringing Mr. Snowden to justice can we safeguard the most precious of American rights: privacy,' added the spokesman, apparently serious." Continue reading →

Continue ReadingU.S. Seemingly Unaware Of Irony In Accusing Snowden Of Spying

U.S. Promises Smooth Transfer of Quagmire from Afghanistan to Syria

"Supporters of the United States’ twelve-year quagmire in Afghanistan cheered the news today that the U.S. would strive to achieve a seamless transfer of that quagmire to Syria, effective immediately. Army Gen. Martin Dempsey, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sought to reassure those who were concerned that the U.S. withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan signalled a wavering of the nation’s commitment to being mired in open-ended military muddles: 'I am confident that we could be involved in Syria for many, many years before figuring out why we are there.'" Continue reading →

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Family Concerned After John McCain Wanders Into Syria

"Members of Sen. John McCain’s family expressed deep concern Tuesday after receiving word that the aging legislator had wandered off into Syria. 'Unfortunately, this has been happening a lot lately; he’ll walk out of the Capitol building, get disoriented, and then we get a call late at night saying that John is in Syria,' McCain’s wife Cindy said upon learning that her 76-year-old husband turned up in the war-torn country after ambling across the Turkey-Syria border and delivering a rambling, incoherent speech to a group of rebels." Continue reading →

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Some Good Cartoons if You’re Suffering from Post-Tax Return Traumatic Stress Disorder

"For the past 30 or so years, I’ve done my own taxes by hand. I thought this was a good approach because it would help me better understand the practical challenges of the tax code. But it’s time to confess that I broke down and used Turbotax for yesterday’s tax return. To help me deal with yesterday’s traumatic experience, I’m sharing some very good cartoons." Continue reading →

Continue ReadingSome Good Cartoons if You’re Suffering from Post-Tax Return Traumatic Stress Disorder