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Shelli is away this weekend, leaving me IN CHARGE here at the GiN joint.

I recall the last time I was left in charge of something this important. My brother-in-law was getting married and asked me to take his extra set of car keys and hide his car in a parking garage near the reception hall. He was very protective of his car and wanted to ensure that his groomsmen could not tinker with it. I was truly touched that he would trust me with his “baby,” so to speak. I told him so and gave him my word that his groomsmen would have absolutely zero opportunity to get their hands on his car. Of course, that didn’t stop ME from FILLING the entire interior of the car with air-popped popcorn. It was AWESOME! Take a look:

Now I understand how Al Haig must have felt the day Reagan was shot. I think I’m the only person, other than Shelli, with administrative access to the website, so, metaphorically speaking, I’m standing up here in front of the microphone, just like Al did back in 1981, assuring everyone that, “As for now, I’m in control here, in the White House, pending the return of the vice president and in close touch with him. If something came up, I would check with him, of course.”

On the other hand, FORGET THAT. I’m not checking with anyone. I don’t think old Al did either. He was Secretary of State at the time and NOT next in line to assume command. That didn’t stop Al Haig, though, and it’s not going to stop me.

Here’s my idea: I want everyone who reads this to post a comment to this article. If you are a regular reader of this site, you know that Shelli responds to each and every one of the posted comments. When she gets back, I’d like her to log on to the site and be met with a TON of comments to answer. You can make them as nonsensical as you want. Send her quotes from politicians you know she DOESN’T admire — Progressives like Woodrow Wilson would be perfect. Agenda 21 and anything about health reform can really get her going, too.  Links to music videos with a social or political tie might be good as well, or other videos of people saying outrageous things you think she’s likely to disagree with.

Jokes are fair game, as are 60′s flower child sorts of stuff.  In the interest of setting an example, I’m going to begin by posting the Desiderata.

Although Les Crane’s recording was a hit in 1972, the year I graduated from high school, Shelli was a toddler then, too young to have heard it or to remember it now.  I can assure you, she won’t understand how it ever became popular in the first place.  I know I don’t.  In fact, because it has the advantage of being wickedly funny instead of spouting rather trite theosophistic platitudes, I much prefer National Lampoon’s parody, Deteriorata:

AS YOU CAN SEE, ANYTHING GOES THIS WEEKEND HERE AT GiN. (Barring obscenity or profanity, of course.) Let’s show Shelli that when the cat’s away the mice like to play. I’m counting on you.