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I am totally overwhelmed by the love shown to David and I by our family, friends, and the community who stepped away from their days responsibilities to honor David on ‘the’ most challenging day of my life.  My mind is having a difficult time trying to find those perfect words to express my heart.  It is like the words are dangled in the air on the end of floating balloons and every time I reach for one a huge gust of wind blows the balloons high out of my sight.  My heart wants to say so much just the right way with all my soul exposed so that each one reading this will know exactly what my heart is saying but my mind is not cooperating.  Everyone thinking me so strong– not really; I am only standing firmly in the middle of my Saviors love as He wraps His arms around me while my family and friends do the same helping the seconds which seem like hours tick off the clock face making this day of remembrance one of greatest for David.  Part of my soul went with David on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 with his entrance into Heaven the only comforting part of this process called death.

Photo Courtesy of TreeOutside.com

Today my sorrow mixed with great joy; I miss him every second and every second I rejoice with him. Yes, I have a “peace” I cannot explain except to say the last hours David was with me he prayed that I would have “peace from Our Lord” and said “God has prepared you and me for this that would come” (his words to me in one of our final prayers as husband and wife). So my strength is in God my source as my inner most being mourns for David the love of my life. My promise to David is to continue to run as he did with all diligence my race until I too am called ‘home’ living every day to the fullest as did David while he was with me.  Though he is not at my side today I carry him locked in my heart forever.  Our 39 years of marriage walking hand in hand my greatest accomplishment on this magnificent journey we created together.  I use to tell David I am the only woman that could buy cialis online love him so much and agree to ‘jump’ with him into all his excellent adventures called life and God knew that.  David remains with me one thought away, one glance into everything around me, one sound of the bell, never will he be far from my heart always comforting my sorrow,  making me smile, giving me direction,  calming my fears, encouraging me to fight on, and always saying  “nothing is impossible you have the Creator of the Universe listening.”  I am sure if he could let me know anything about Heaven it would be tell everyone “it is worth it all– are you going to be surprised! And by the way I have a lot to do.” Apart for a little while I will continue to live my days following God and marching to a louder beat than most on this earthly journey grateful that for nearly all of my life I was accompanied by a great man, David, who I am privileged to call my husband, father of my children, grandfather of my grandchildren.  I pray we will do justice to his life lived well in continuing to carry forth his message as each grow into their life’s work for our Lord.  I see him today as I have seen him the past 39 years—living, serving Our Lord and Savior with all of who he is in his new abode Heaven until I can reach out and grasp his hand again.

David’s life not shortened his “duty “complete.  As he wrote in his last letter “now continue your duty with all diligence there is much to be done!”  Yes, as he said almost every day of his life here “I have a lot to do.”  I have no doubt that David’s “to do list” in Heaven more pleasant, enormous, and joyous for he has the whole universe to explore now! Living in the presence of God I can only imagine.

P.S. These my first thoughts put on paper this week.  My intention is to write more extensively next week as I look forward to honoring my David with the words from my heart, right now as David would say “I have a lot to do!”  So our story continues……